Relationship issues & Narcissistic abuse recovery

Relationship trauma is emotional and psychological distress caused by harmful experiences in a relationship. It can include abuse, betrayal, or infidelity. Relationship trauma can occur in any relationship, including romantic, familial, or professional relationships.

Symptoms:

Distrust: Distrust of other people or suspicion of your own surroundings

Sleep disturbances: Nightmares or other sleep issues related to fear, anxiety, and panic

Sexual dysfunction: Lower libido or other sexual issues

Flashbacks: Flashbacks to traumatic events in the relationship

Obsessive thoughts: Rethinking old arguments or obsessing over how you could have acted differently

Fear and anger: Feelings of fear and anger towards the abuser
Self-blame: Blaming yourself for the abuse or believing you're to blame for anything that goes wrong

Many people are in toxic relationships and they don’t even realize. Some of these toxic people display hurtful behaviors, such as negative judgement, control, blame shifting, inability to apologize. Those who have narcissistic traits present more than just these abusive behaviors. Not every narcissist has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, can manifest in different ways and the severity of these traits can vary.

People who have been subjected to narcissistic abuse don't know that they are being manipulated or abused until it's too late. They struggle shifting away from the narcissist’s perspective of them and strong feelings of guilt, denial, shame and unworthiness. Impressive gestures of love, followed by controlling behaviors leave people feeling confused about their loved one’s needs and feelings. Taking the responsibility of “fixing” or “healing” the hurting partner’s childhood wounds is such a natural thing to do, as narcissistic people are targeting empathetic people to ensure that receive all the attention they need and that they will not be abandoned. As problems accumulate, people start noticing that they are abandoning themselves for the sake of their narcissistic partners. The cycle of appreciation and depreciation will continue until the narcissistic partners start looking for other supplies to fuel their ego and then they will discard you.

So many survivors of narcissistic abuse appear to be strong and competent, but internally, they feel powerless and traumatized, unable to distinguish between illusion and reality and unable to trust people again. Psychological abuse affects people’s self-esteem, sense of safety and control. Moreover, as narcissist people cross boundaries, their victims may also experience financial, sexual and physical abuse, which destroys their sense of self.

Complex PTSD, depression and anxiety have been some of the common mental health struggles caused by narcissistic abuse. The victims often isolate themselves from others, withdraw from daily responsibilities and stop looking after themselves.

The treatment of the survivors of narcissistic abuse

The focuses on creating safety in their life, expanding their knowledge and understanding of narcissistic behaviors and narcissistic abuse cycle, working on reducing their cognitive dissonance, intrusive memories, learning to set and maintain good boundaries, building confidence and self-worth, learning skills to regulate and manage emotions, thoughts and behaviours that reduce self-blame and shame and increase self-validation and self-acceptance.

If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse and you think that you could benefit from professional assistance, please reach out. You don’t need to face these challenges alone. We can navigate the healing journey together.

A scorpion wants to cross a river but cannot swim, so it asks a frog to carry it across. The frog hesitates, afraid that the scorpion might sting it, but the scorpion promises not to, pointing out that it too would drown if he killed the frog in the middle of the river. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung him, despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist the urge. I t's in my nature."